nous sommes baises

One who loves

JP — Sat, 01 Aug 2026 21:57:10 GMT

Amateur. A word used disparagingly. Which is a shame, because in it’s original meaning when applied to sport it’s a lot more positive.

A person who takes part in an activity for pleasure, not as a job

definition as per the Cambridge Dictionary

So participation is the primary objective when involved in sport not money. Which probably resonates with the majority of people who participate in sports throughout the world.

Poshos and fairplay

There’s a phrase “Corinthian Spirit”, which is linked to the Ancient Greek city of Corinth, although not via the people there valuing fair play and sportsmanship (there is no record that they did). It is actually from an English football team Corinthians FC, who were a bunch of toffs. Their ethos was sportsmanship, fair play and love of the game. The club constitution stated it would not compete for any challenge cup or any prize of any description. That did not mean playing without the intention of winning or being a bit crap. Turns out they would often win friendly matches against teams who did compete in competitions, and at one point the entire England team was selected from Corinthians FC.

They were amateurs who played a sport because they loved it. I quite like their attitude to penalties. They believed that a true gentleman would never deliberately commit a foul. So if they got a penalty, their player would deliberately kick it over the bar. Maybe a bit extreme, but you get the idea. They just enjoyed sport for what it is, and had a very positive perspective on how it should be played.

Having free time

In the modern world, pretty much every sport has a professional aspect to it. Professionalism brings a number of benefits, but also a number of negatives. The driving force behind professionalism is money. Way back in the 1800s, sporting hobbies and pretty much the idea of free time, were predominantly an upper and middle class thing. Luckily for us, a bunch of people pushed back against that. Don’t worry I’m not going to talk about unions, workers rights and that type of thing. I definitely think they are worthwhile things to talk about but for now let’s just say these people and the work they did means we now get days off, and free time on work days (early mornings or evenings). And as a result we get to do stuff we find fun.

If you’re reading this then your idea of fun possibly involves dressing up in pyjamas or spandex and then proceeding to try and break the limbs of your friends. Or limit their ability to breathe.

Grappling really is an odd hobby.

The why

Anyway why do you do it?

There’ll be a list, and I suspect that list is different from the reasons why you actually started. We can use the classic “so I can defend myself” as an example reason for starting BJJ. Highly likely that after a while, particularly if you enjoy playing guard your self defence reasoning has gone out of the window.

Don’t @ me. If you are going to try and convince me that DLR or deep half are somehow legitimate things to do in a fight. Well DON’T BOTHER.

I bet you, one of the reasons you would give for sticking with this dumb sport would be “I enjoy it” or even “I love it”.

Here are some others:

It helps with my mental health.
The community is awesome.
I can do things I didn’t think I would be able to.

Whether these apply to you or not doesn’t matter. You will have your reasons.

But it is highly likely that you’re not getting paid, and even if you are, it’s highly likely that you’re not getting paid anywhere near enough for it to be a full time job.

Most people who are making decent money will be gym owners. Oh and the IBJJF obviously. Pro athletes aren’t making as much as you think. The number who make enough money from just competing is pretty much zero. They will be teaching, doing seminars and getting support from sponsors.

Guess what they need? People like you and me. The amateurs. The hobbyists. The people who turn up when they can, and get something positive from the sport THAT ISN’T MONEY. You do realise that jiujitsu in particular is pretty much only watched by people who do the sport? Without the amateurs there is nothing.

Grass roots sports in all its forms is what drives the elite level. It’s the entry point for those who may eventually become elite, but more importantly it is what keeps the sport alive.

So when someone is disparaging about hobbyists, they are talking about the amateurs. The people who do this sport because they get something positive from it. The people who love it. People like you and me.

I’m proud to be an amateur.

I love this stupid sport.

How jiujitsu can change things

JP — Mon, 04 May 2026 20:38:51 GMT

Have you watched the Louis Theroux Manosphere documentary on Netflix?

For me, I was aware of the red pill stuff beforehand. I’ve always had an interest in subcultures, from obscure music-based lifestyles to survivalists and preppers. The problem with the internet is that you can rabbit hole on this stuff.

The pick up stuff happened in the early part of this century, along with the nonsense on 4chan. These are part of a rise in perspectives and increased vocalisation of views that could be considered as contributing and forming what is now termed “The Manosphere”.

I find it all a bit odd.

The Louis Theroux documentary highlights how misogyny and/or negative views of women are perpetuated through digital channels.

So what can be done about it?

Bizarrely a contact sport where men and women train together may actually provide some answers.

A bit of context

I remember watching the sports reporting on the news one evening. I can’t remember the exact details but the mens national team in some particular sport had just lost again and were on their way home from a tournament.

A woman from Great Britain had just broken an endurance record for a race. It was a mixed gender race.

The reporting spent fifteen minutes or so on the glorious failure of the men. Then about ninety seconds on the woman. My wife pointed out the disparity. It hadn’t even occurred to me. She said something like “It has been like this all of my life. We are always a side note.”

At the time, alongside grappling, I’d been doing some triathlon training. Within that I had been looking at how age affects performance in endurance events. There’s some interesting research on how women close the difference and often outperform men in ultra endurance events. Particularly as women get older. There’s a whole bunch of reasons why. Here’s an easy read that talks it through News article (yes it's the Guardian) and here’s a research paper on it!

What I found when I joined the local tri club is that the men didn’t view the women as lesser athletes. In fact they supported them, and there were no comments like “She’s good, for a woman”. Instead the phrases you’d hear were “She’s good”, “She’s strong” and praise for their performances. In triathlon women are seen as equal, and talked about as athletes, not as female athletes.

Just athletes.

There are a few sports where men and women train together. In triathlon men and women also race together. When the race is over and the rankings are done, then yeah and athletes performance can be categorised, (by age and gender).

I think the training environment makes a difference.

And here’s why

Anecdotally, sports where men and women train with each other appear to positively impact how men view women. By anecdotally, I’m referring to my experience of triathlon and grappling, but I bet it’s also true in Crossfit. AND THERE’S A THEORY THAT SUPPORTS THIS.

Back in the eighties (a great but also shit decade IMO) there was a social psychologist called Serge Moscovici. He came up with something called Conversion theory of minority influence. Don’t worry it’s not that kind of conversion theory.

Within this theory…

1. A consistent, confident minority that challenges majority norms can provoke cognitive conflict.
2. This conflict leads majority members to engage in deeper processing, questioning assumptions rather than simply conforming.
3. Over time, this may result in private, lasting attitude change (”conversion”) rather than compliance.

That’s a bit academic sounding right? Basically in grappling this could be explained as

A bunch of women train jiu jitsu in a mixed environment. They get good at it, and kick peoples arses. The men they train with freak out a bit because they didn’t think women could do stuff like that. This changes how the men view women, (and not just the ones they train with).

I might have over simplified that, partly for comedic effect. But you get what I mean. Seeing women perform and excel first hand in a mixed training environment, and having direct experience of it.

In jiu jitsu this might be getting taken down, or swept or tapped (or all three).
In triathlon, being out run or overtaken on the bike or swimming (or all three).

I’ve had direct experience of all of the above! Did it change my view? Yeah I think it did. It would be easy to describe me as woke, but I will admit in both examples of jiu jitsu and triathlon, when I started I had a different perception of womens performance. Over time that perception was challenged. It happened a lot quicker in triathlon because there were more women (although still a minority). Womens participation in jiu jitsu has grown dramatically in recent years. It’s still nowhere near 50%, I’d guess around 10-20% (I didn’t guess I did a few random searches on the web).

What’s particularly ironic is when people eulogise how effective BJJ is, and how technique beats strength, also talk down womens grappling.

What does this mean?

Well men should support women in sports because it’s absolutely the right thing to do and it has a positive effect on society as a whole (see this from the UN https://www.un.org/en/global-issues/gender-equality)

Gender equality, besides being a fundamental human right, is essential to achieve peaceful societies, with full human potential and sustainable development. Moreover, it has been shown that empowering women spurs productivity and economic growth.

So the long and the short of it is you should support womens jiujitsu because it makes the world a better place.

Plus, training with women will make you a better person, as it will improve how you view and perceive other people.

It’s crazy in many ways as I can’t believe in 2026 I’m actually writing this and having to justify any of it. I’m fifty fucking six this year, why the fuck are people listening to these manosphere influences? and why on earth are men in positions of power able to exploit women (and minors)?

It’s disgusting, but you can do something about it. Support the women who you train with, celebrate the success of women in our sport, and, more importantly, don’t be a misogynistic prick.

What is a black belt?

JP — Sat, 14 Feb 2026 17:30:27 GMT

This isn’t what I intended to write about…. but here goes.

I’m a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu black belt, but that doesn’t mean I’m entitled to anything…..well actually maybe there are two things:

I can go matside at IBJJF comps and shout random shit at people who are competing.
I can roll my eyes and look disappointed when less experienced grapplers do stupid shit during sparring or a match or just whenever.

There are multiple witnesses who can confirm I have done, and continue to do, both of the above. On many many occasions.

My experience and the value of competition

In real terms, my black belt is an indication of my knowledge and skill in a specific niche martial art. There’s certainly a discussion to be had regarding the ability to translate that knowledge and skill into performance. And definitely around my ability to do so. I got promoted in 2019, and competition wise it absolutely sucked, or rather I did. Rather than take it easy, I registered for comps, all of them in a younger age bracket. Although I wasn’t getting rinsed, I couldn’t catch a break. Losing most matches by at most a few points, or by decision. Yeah I did get submitted a couple of times too ;-) .

When I did compete with people my own age it wasn’t so bad. I’m 2-2 with both my wins via submission. One of the losses by decision and the other a sub.

It was definitely a relief to win at black belt. Prior to winning I didn’t feel out of place as most of the losses were really close matches, but I’d be lying if I said they didn’t made me doubt myself.

I definitely think that experiencing competition is integral to progressing within Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. To be brutally honest, I really believe you need to compete to get belt promotions, at all levels, but especially from purple through to black. Of course there maybe particular circumstances that change this, but generally no.

I mean, you wouldn’t say you’re a footballer if all you did was have a kickabout with your mates, and if all you’re doing to test your skills is sparring after class or at an open mat, then that’s pretty much the same.

Yes there is a massive difference between elite/pro level competition and what I do, just as there is a difference between pro football and grass roots competition.

And when it comes to gi and nogi, it’s different altogether. There’s an interview with Owen Jones where he comments on how in nogi, belts are not the indicator as a lower belt always has a chance. Whereas in the gi, black belts should really be able to show their skill and dominance.

So yeah, a black belt IMO is a way of understanding “where you are at” when it comes to grappling knowledge (and the ability to show that knowledge under pressure - which is why competing is important, and should be utilised, in a martial art that has a sport application).

What a black belt isn’t

It is in no way an indicator of good character. I’d like to think that my coach Yousuf doesn’t award black belts to bellends or people who are dicks. Some of my “friends” may suggest that me having a black belt is contrary to this opinion.

Another thing a black belt isn’t is an indicator of authority and it certainly doesn’t give is the right to exploit or exert control over another human being. I don’t know the exact details surrounding recent revelations within the world of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, but to be honest with you, it should come as no surprise that there are predatory men who exploit a power dynamic.

Some people would have you think that it’s a cultural thing, but we can look at societies as a whole and what’s going on with regard to the Epstein files. Primarily it is a combination of two things….. men and power.

Or the official term. Patriarchy.

And now….. why it matters

So there you go. A black belt is a piece of fabric that is awarded to practitioners as an indicator of progress and people who have them should not be viewed as oracles of truth on all things.

And this is true of anyone who has succeeded/progressed in a particular field. A scientist is not by default an expert on tax affairs, being successful in business does not bestow a scholastic understanding of academic research, inherited wealth does not mean inherited expertise…. I could go on but you get the point. We have podcasts, interviews, content etc, within which a celebrity/CEO/influencer/politician, or whatever, is asked their opinion on something they have no fucking idea about. But we’ve bestowed some sort of status upon them, and somehow what they say is trusted over actual experts.

Within Brazilian Jiu Jitsu this manifests as a real issue. The sport has had a far too many instances where male black belts have been trusted, lauded and it turns out they are fucking arseholes. Some of whom have exploited and manipulated women, even children.

It’s a stain on the sport that when it has surfaced it hasn’t resulted in significant change. Now, thanks to high profile women, who are openly challenging this, change is coming.

My next post on substack will be a focus on women in jiu jitsu and why I believe womens contribution has been, and will continue to be, so important.

Fuck the patriarchy.

Why don't you?

JP — Sun, 01 Feb 2026 13:01:56 GMT

Way back in the 70s and 80s (yes I am that old!! ), there was a kids TV program called Why don't you?

It was on every Saturday morning and it's primary message was

“Why don't you just switch off your television set and go out and do something less boring instead”.

That was in fact the main lyric of the theme tune. Here’s a blast of it…

Back then TV was a novelty. Then over time TV became embedded in how we got the news, how we accessed entertainment, and even how we accessed porn.

Sounds familiar right?

I guess the main differences between old school TV and a smartphone is that scheduled broadcast TV didn’t facilitate communication…. we had actual phones that had one purpose…. and when it comes to media/entertainment, broadcast TV wasn’t hyper personalised to keep you engaged.

That latter being the thing that really sucks. Well I think so anyway.

An actual phone… NOTE: Using these did not affect melatonin.

Social media has become the primary way people are engaged when it comes to entertainment. It gives a sense of connection, provides access to information and yes it does entertain. The apps on our phones are geared to keep us engaged.

I can’t believe that we all watched The Social Dilemma and still have those apps on our phones. You can watch the Social Dilemma here

By the way, I still have some of those apps and I still find myself doomscrolling.

Doomscrolling…. what a waste of time that is. Plus it has no benefit. I hate it.

Originally it was related to continually scrolling through negative content via social media. But now it refers to viewing excessive amounts of short form or user generated content.

I looked at the amount of time I’ve spent doing that, and it’s worrying. If you’ve watched The Social Dilemma, or worked at all in digital marketing, you’ll have an idea of why it happens. We are up against highly intelligent people, using cutting edge technology, and they are highly incentivised. Our engagement is worth money.

But online engagement does not enhance our lives. The simplest way you can win is by not engaging.

Ok before going any further. Yep technology can be used to do some good. There are tons of positives. But spending HOURS of your free time online because an algorithm is continually manipulating what you see in order to keep you looking at a screen is definitely NOT a positive.

Oh and I get the irony too. You’re accessing this online, possibly because I shared it via social media……. So now you’ve read it, go and do something actually worthwhile rather than looking at another reel on Instagram/TikTok/X/Youtube etc

I would say rant over. But it isn’t. I truly hate social media.

Why don’t you….

Ride a bike
Read a book
Go for a coffee (or a tea, or a beer)
Dance, run, swim (not at the same time)
Walk in the woods
Sit in a park
Go TRAIN FACKING JIU JITSU …. topical joke there ;-)
Talk to your friends
Talk to your family

The list of things you can do, that will be way better for you than staring at your phone is endless.

If you do want to look at something interesting online, I’ll add some links to peer reviewed papers (not some random bloke on youtube) at the end of this post.

In all honesty, this particular post is actually an accountability one for myself. I want to reduce my time spent looking at crap online, and to kickstart me to use that time rather than waste it. So you can just think of it as a self indulgent rant..

But …. Writing is one of the ways I can use that time better.

I’m writing this stuff because I think it matters. When I originally started this Substack it was because I started a journey for a future career. I’ve picked that back up. When I originally started that journey it was because of the mental health challenges that society started to acknowledge, and I want to contribute to making things better or more manageable. So going forward I am going to post stuff weekly about psychology and things that might be interesting.

And I’ll include links to peer reviewed stuff.

In the meantime……

Why don’t you just put down your phone and do something less boring instead?

Some interesting links

Meditation isn't what you think it is

JP — Sun, 18 Feb 2024 15:39:15 GMT

For a lot of us, meditation suggests something that isn’t quite accurate.

Maybe some hippy sat in a field? probably with dreads? those baggy pants with a low crotch that backpackers wear after being in Goa for a couple of days? and some beads? A bit like this guy?

He looks pretty annoying.……..And no it isn’t a picture I dug out from my youth. I just asked ChatGPT for a cliched pic of someone meditating.

So if AI has this as a response, I’m going to guess that you’ll possibly have the same idea about the type of people who meditate. I definitely did. When I’d tried meditation in the past, it all seemed a bit gongy, with chanting and I just spent my time thinking about what I was having for dinner, whatever I was watching on telly or even how much longer do I have to sit here. In other words I thought it was a bit shit. And for twats.

TBH I used to feel the same about yoga, although the imagery around that wasn’t annoying rave backpackers, but middle aged women omming while bending themselves into unfathomable positions. Thinking back, pretty sure I bought a book about Iyengar yoga and everything just felt insanely challenging and included protracted paragraphs about enlightenment, chakras and gurus. It wasn’t until my wife dragged me to Bikram Yoga a long while back (2003?).

Hot yoga is pretty challenging and way back then definitely changed my view of yoga. Yeah that Bikram guy is clearly a wrongun, check out the Netflix documentary on him, but the actual practice and sequences are tough as hell.

More on yoga another time, as that’s something you could (and probably should) consider too!

Back to meditation.

What changed my mind was meeting an old school friend about five years ago. There’s three of us who meet up every couple of years, go for food, talk crap etc. One of us, let’s call him Jason (as that’s his name), was talking about meditation. Obviously we took the piss out of him. After we’d calmed down and gave him a chance to explain himself, he talked about it more. Quite a lot more. The impact on Jasons life, particularly mental health from meditation had been so resounding he had decided to include teaching meditation in his job. He has a pretty corporate, senior role (I think it has director or something like that in the title) that involves training and stuff.

Now I’ve know this guy for a long long time. The change in my friend was profound and for the better. I could see it and so could others.

You can call these type of things an epiphany or a Damascus moment, Whatever, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that the effect was significant and positive.

Changing my mind didn’t mean that I immediately started omming and floating a few feet off the ground. I tried a few different things. Mainly youtube, which was a bit crap. Tried the app Calm, which was ok. Through something else I bought I managed to get a free subscription to Headspace. So I gave it a go.

And now it’s something I make time for every day. Not always using an app, but sitting and meditating and you know what? It makes a difference.

The main benefits I’ve found are:

Clarity of thought. This doesn’t mean that everything I was thinking about disappeared. I just felt more able to focus and prioritise.
Understanding the importance of breathing. Not in the way you immediately think, as in taking in oxygen. I’ve written previously about breathing and breath work, meditating reinforces that, and also provides a regular practice where you can use breathing as a tool to manage yourself both physically and mentally.
Immediate stress relief or reduction in anxiety. Yes it happens. I feel more relaxed. The physical signs of this is the tension in my shoulders reducing.

I’m not eulogising about these btw. I also find that I get similar benefits from yoga or a focused stretching session/routine. Thing is I can meditate on the train, or in the office. Basically anywhere where I am sat on my arse.

The three benefits when combined are particularly useful when starting the day. You know when you feel like you have a stupid amount of things to do? Also when it feels like life/work/people/stuff is getting a little bit overwhelming, or you’re on the verge of stress kicking in.

I’ve found that 10 minutes of meditation has helped.

Unlike my school friend, I’m not going to start teaching other people, not that I don’t think that’s a good idea. More that it’s not my vocation, however I do know that knowing where to start can be tricky, and maybe me relaying how I felt can resonate with you.

Especially this» I thought that when meditating I would achieve a state of zen where my mind would be blank. It’s entirely possible that buddhist monks or similar zenophiles get to that state, but in my experience meditating doesn’t remove the noise, it just quietens it down.

btw zenophiles isn’t a real word. It is a track by Mylo ….

Scottish electronic music aside, here’s a quick run through of my experience of meditating.

As said earlier, I tried a few different apps. These provided …. Guided meditation

This is super useful if you are new to meditating. They include tips and tricks for how to quieten your thoughts. They’re also pretty reassuring about what is going on and how you may feel, which is great if you’re doing this on your own as it validates and explains the process.

It took me a while to build up the time, as I’d get distracted. 5-7 minutes was doable. Eventually plateauing around 10-11. Currently I aim for anywhere between 10 and 20 minutes. Depending on how I feel, where I am and what that day involves.

I still use guided meditation, but after about six months I felt fairly confident meditating without a narrative. Initially I’d use noise cancelling headphones to help reduce distractions. But eventually I’ve got to the point where even in a pretty noisy place I can get into a meditative state.

Which brings me to the where?

First up it doesn’t need to be a field like the AI created cliche picture. If you have headphones then it’s easy to meditate when you’re on a train journey. Other places;

In the office.
In a garden or an open space.
In bed.
On the sofa.

Honestly as long as you don’t care that somebody might think you are a bit odd sat there with your eyes closed, you can do it anywhere. Hopefully the following things might help.

Free stuff from Headspace

Free stuff from Calm

You can actually sign up for free trials with these apps too

Headspace info and free trial

Calm info and free trial

There are tons of resources available, I’ve included Calm and Headspace as they are the ones I have tried. I don’t get any kick back if you click the links. Apart from the gratification that you’re interested in knowing more, but as I don’t track these things, I wouldn’t even know that!

So…...

It might have a bunch of cliches associated with it, you may even be reluctant to say to your friends or family “I’ve been meditating” in case they take the piss. But meditation really can help. This paper looks at the efficacy of meditation in improving stress related outcomes. It won’t fix you, and is not a cure, but it helps and 10 minutes meditating is less than 1% of your day. According to this article, most of us spend more time than that on the toilet looking at instagram.

My suggestion is that instead of sitting on the crapper, doom scrolling through images of people you don’t know and videos of cute animals, you spend some of that time quietening your thoughts. You can do that on the loo too I guess :-)

I’ll post about meditation and it’s effect on my BJJ another time….

Imposters

JP — Mon, 06 Feb 2023 12:40:21 GMT

During lockdown, the game Among us became super popular. If you’ve never played it, someone is designated as the Impostor (both spellings are legit btw). That player has to pretend to be a part of the crew, while murdering other players. It’s a pretty fun game to be honest.

So you KNOW that you’re faking it when you play the game, because the game tells you that you are the “Impostor”.

BUT that isn’t what happens in real life when you doubt yourself.

That’s right I’m talking about “Imposter Syndrome”. Of all the stuff that messes with peoples heads in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, this has to be the most prevalent.

Not everyone is affected by it, but considering in studies around 70% of people experience it in normal life, then we can be pretty certain it is common in grappling too. Well based on the papers I have read, it’s actually common in all sports, and at all levels.

It’s the belts in BJJ that make it worse. Yeah you know what I mean, when that lower belt catches you and you have to tap. Or you spend the entire round in sparring defending or stuck in a crappy position. Even if it doesn’t happen to you, I can tell you it happens to me. I’m in my 50s, and some days I’m not super sharp or on it, and a crazy young lower belt might be gunning for me. Or I’m trying out some new stuff and I make a mistake, there are tons of reasons why it can happen.

TBH I used to worry about it a lot, but now it’s less. A few years ago I trained in Paris. I was a purple belt in my mid 40s, and every place I visited it felt like a test.

Until I realised that no one else was bothered.

They weren’t testing me or judging me. They just saw me as another training partner. It took me a while to get used to it. The sequence of events would be:

I contact somewhere and ask if I could train.
They would reply and ask a bit about me, like my belt, where I’d trained before.
I’d arrange to go to a session. Then get super nervous and think that I had to prove my worth, and that my belt was justified.
Go to the session, meet some cool people, roll and realise that anyone pushing it was actually just enjoying training with someone new.

It’s weird. I still get those same nerves now if I train somewhere different, and I definitely get them when I compete. In fact sometimes I even get those nerves when I’m coaching a class at the gym I regularly train at.

Why on earth would I feel like that?

BECAUSE IT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL TO DOUBT YOURSELF!

Turns out, that impostor syndrome is not a diagnosed condition, it’s discussed in a great APA podcast, where it is referred to as Impostor Phenomenon.

The episode is here (fyi- the Speaking of Psychology podcast is actually amazing).

In it they discuss how they, who are experts, experience these feelings of “imposterism” themselves.

Although feeling like an imposter isn’t a condition, it can amplify or contribute feelings of anxiety and depression. Which is possibly why it can become overwhelming.

In sports it can effect those at elite level, and “Athlete identity” probably makes it worse. Yes that is a thing. Identity is a powerful construct, and what we adopt or believe constitutes our identity shapes how we interact with others, and importantly how we view ourselves. It happens all the time, throughout our lives. Identity helps people develop self esteem, and provides a sense of purpose. If you consider professional sports people, they typically have an athletic identity associated with the sport they have excelled at. That athletic identity both contributes to their sense of self, and also contributes to their performance.

In our niche world of Mexican ground karate, I think it can contribute to feelings of doubt.

The addictiveness of BJJ makes it a core part of what we do. I mean how many people do you know, that do other sports, who train as often as you do? Most BJJ people train 3+ times a week. Those sessions are often more than an hour long. I mean I am OLD, with a job and a family, and I still train around 5 sessions a week. On top of that I tailor my strength training, mobility and stretching around my grappling.

That’s a lot of time. So it makes sense that we see BJJ as part of what and WHO we are. We probably have an athletic identity associated with BJJ. Think about it.

What has this got to do with Imposter Syndrome?

Well if BJJ is such an important part of your identity, then it follows that it’s also important to you that you can do it.

What indicates your proficiency? Your belt.

What validates your proficiency? Sparring, competing and all that stuff that can contribute to you having doubts about your ability.

See where this is going? Yeah all the way back to the beginning.. “It’s the belts in BJJ that make it worse”

We shouldn’t care about what people think us, but self doubt is normal. It’s a crazy cycle, where we doubt ourselves, because of the concern about how we are perceived and how that relates to our identity.

It’s easy to say “Fuck it, I don’t care”, but incredibly hard to actually live your life like that.

Anyway don’t worry if you feel like an imposter, it’s completely normal. Unless of course you are on a spaceship murdering other people on a spaceship. In which case you are actually playing a game called “Among us”, WHICH ISN’T REAL……

APA article on imposter syndrome

Clance & Imes paper on Imposter Phenomenon

JiuJitsu as therapy

JP — Sun, 02 Oct 2022 20:02:22 GMT

What am I on about?

Whenever I used to hear JiuJitsu is my therapy, I would be a bit dismissive. My perception was that people were labelling an activity just because it sounded like a thing they should say. Similarly JiuJitsu saved my life. Another phrase that you often hear.

Previously I was like “Er, what? Rolling around on the floor in pyjamas saved your life? How?”.

Turns out, I was being a dick.

It wasn’t that I didn’t sympathise or care about what people where going through, more that I couldn’t understand why a niche martial art was some how a way of dealing with it.

The key bit there is “dealing with it”. It isn’t always about dealing with things. There are a ton of different types of therapy, and people will utilise them in different ways. Since I started to study and talk about mental health, I realised that managing a condition or how you feel is far more realistic.

So how does rolling around on the floor, trying to strangle people or hyperextend their limbs help?

Being in the moment

If you’ve ever trained jiujitsu or submission grappling, you’ll know that it is a sport that very much requires you to be present and in the moment. Especially when sparring!

I’m sure there’s a bunch of quotes like “if you think you’re dead”, (although that might be from Top Gun). Maybe this from Rickson Gracie is better:

“Jiu-jitsu puts you completely in the moment, where you must have a complete focus on finding a solution to the problem.”

When you are completely in the moment, you’re not thinking about other stuff. This allows us to disregard the stresses that maybe having a negative effect. As well as grappling, I also cycle, swim and lift weights. What I find in those activities is I am often distracted, or at the very least my mind wanders. That (from my experience), doesn’t happen in jiu jitsu.

When I actually looked back at my own training, alongside my life off the mat, it was clear to me, that this aspect of jiujitsu, being in the moment, is a tool I use to help manage stress. Particularly when I am sparring, I am in the moment, instinctively reacting and also problem solving in a hyper focused mindset.

Originally I guess I was dismissive or cynical because I wasn’t actively looking for something to help with stress. It has happened as a by product, albeit an incredibly important one, of training. A simple indicator however, is if you ask my family what I am like if I haven’t been training…….

It’s 100% true that in times when I haven’t been able to train, my behaviour has been impacted.

“They would say that you’re a dick when you don’t train, wouldn’t they JP?”

“Er….Yes they probably would.”

I have a fairly stressful job, and let’s be honest, the general state of the world (for a few years now) is enough to raise hackles. But when I train I am able to de-stress or at least… not be stressed. This contributes to how I manage my mental health and well being. As said earlier, I don’t get this from other sports/activities…… I suppose that means that I get a therapeutic benefit from jiujitsu… so yeah jiujitsu is my therapy ……

Something else….

Interestingly jiujitsu also helps me view the world in a different way. Rather than raging against issues, I feel more inclined to recognise challenges, and focus on how I can deal with them.

This comes from the problem solving you need in order to progress, both in the immediacy of sparring, and also the retrospective review post sparring. Actually although it’s related, this isn’t what this post is about, so maybe I’ll write about that another time!

What about you?

My suggestion to you is think about what you would be like if you didn’t train. Hmm……that’s a tricky one so maybe it’s a different question.

What do you think about when you train?

Of course, sometimes you will think about what you could have done better, but are you thinking about your bills? Are you thinking about the state of the world?

I bet you’re not.

I bet you are thinking things like “How do I do that sweep better?”, or “Why can’t I pass this persons guard?”.

This hyper focus on an activity is a legit thing btw, and is a concept that is super popular.

Flow and Mushin

Now if you’ve been involved in BJJ, you will have heard the phrase “Flow with the go”. Rickson said it in the documentary “Choke” (which is a great watch).

I have no idea what he was on about but it does sound cool.

HOWEVER…….. Flow Theory is the concept that I am referring to. Typically credited to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. There’s a whole wikipedia page you can read if you want »» Flow

Here’s a pic of Mihaly

It isn’t just applicable to niche martial arts, but also something you may find when people play immersive video games, or any activity when you are in the zone.

A reason it is popular, particularly amongst sports psychologists, is the concept of being in the zone, which is effectively what a “Flow state” is (in laymans terms). It is almost unheard of in modern sports for elite athletes to not prepare mentally for an event or competition. Part of that preparation is how to get into that flow state effectively and efficiently.

If you wear Scramble gear, then you may inadvertently be espousing this on your rash guard or shorts. Scramble brought out a range emblazoned with “State of no mind”. This was a nod to Mushin, which isn’t dissimilar to Flow theory.

There’s an interesting paper by Krein and Ilundain-Agurruza who discuss this “An East-West Comparative Analysis of Mushin and Flow”. I won’t spoil it for you, and if you’re bothered you can find it here

Finally

Like I suggested, ask yourself what you think about when you train. Like me you might find that you are using jiujitsu as therapy. A temporary way to leave your troubles behind, even if it is just for one round of sparring.

I’m not suggesting that rolling around on the floor wearing pyjamas with a coloured belt, or lycra for the nogi peeps, is better than facing real life issues. But it is certain a welcome escape.

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Breathing

JP — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 19:33:06 GMT

You what mate?

Breathing is pretty important…. OBVIOUSLY!

We all do it. Mainly because it’s pretty much essential (as in totally needed) for life. BUT …. being aware of your breath and how you are breathing also has massive benefits.

It’s one of the few bits of advice I give people when training or competing.. “remember to breath”, usually while I mimic taking a deep breath. Sounds stupid, but we all have a tendency to either hold our breath or take rapid breaths when under pressure.

Focusing on your breath will almost always result in a positive effect. The effect being a sense of calm. I’m not talking about the same sense of calm as when you’re lying on a beach chilling out. What actually happens is that it distracts you from the environment you are in and allows you to refocus and compose yourself, rather than just reacting.

Try it. You don’t even have to be at the gym or on the mats. Wherever you are, take ten deep breaths. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Focus entirely on your breathing.

Feels good, right?

Science

Why does it help? You could read this paper. It reviews a bunch of papers, research etc and provides some pretty in-depth, and quite technical explanations.

”Breath of Life: The Respiratory Vagal Stimulation Model of Contemplative Activity” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6189422/

So instead I’ll summarise…. in short, breathing stimulates the vagus nerve. Before you start sniggering, it’s nothing to do with vaginas. It’s a cranial nerve that links your brain to the parasympathetic nervous system. Basically the stuff you do without thinking. The vagus nerve helps to override things like your fight or flight response.

The incredible thing is that yoga and meditation are activities we come across loads, WHERE THEY DO THIS ALL THE TIME. Yeah that’s right, those hipsters twisting themselves up, doing headstands and chanting, are onto something.

Yoga

Let’s talk about yoga. I used to find yoga a bit boring and would get distracted. Things like saying OMMMMMM put me off a bit to be honest. I also found the spiritual stuff a bit annoying. Then I started doing Bikram Yoga. (Sorry but I didn’t know the guy was a sex pest, I mean I didn’t actually meet him). Anyway I found the sessions pretty intense and for while incredibly frustrating. BUT by focusing on breathing, things began to change.

TBH it’s the same for me when trying to meditate. Most of us when we try these things end up having a bunch of random thoughts enter our head. Typically these will relate to stuff that either are making us stressed, or the default “things we always worry about”. Like “did I lock the front door?”. Focusing on how you breath, can help to drop these random thoughts.

Back to yoga. How you breath when practising is super important. You may have heard of pranayama, which in Sanskrit roughly translates to controlling life force, and is a focus on breathing. There’s a whole bunch of stuff to unpack here, but here’s two things you might find useful without having to deep dive into yoga breathing practices:

Yogic breathing. Sounds pretty broad, but it’s the basic 3 part breathing. Fully exhale and pull your belly into your spine, then inhale starting with your belly, then ribs, then chest. Next exhale by pulling your lower abdomen into your spine… and repeat. When I do this I find I get a MASSIVE deep breath. You might also make yourself dizzy the first few times! But this is a great way to calm yourself and relax.
Cooling breath. This one is really weird. Inhale either through a curled tongue or if you can’t do that (30% of people can’t), inhale with your tongue out. Now exhale through your nose. Feels odd right? I use this a lot.

Sport

How you breath has a performative effective too. I got Breath by James Nestor as a gift, and the author refers to a whole bunch of experts, research, anecdotal evidence etc, but the short of it is that a slow breathing rhythm using just your nose helps with sports performance.

How does this help with grappling? I find when sparring that ensuring I am breathing in a slow deliberate manner keeps me calm. I try and stick with nasal breathing but it’s tough. Obviously there are times when you just have to GO and do stuff super fast, but that isn’t sustainable, so when I get to a neutral or controlling position I then stop and breath.

The times it most helps are when I am getting taken apart or find myself in a rubbish position. Calm, steady, breathing helps me be comfortable when uncomfortable. Which is pretty much the essence of jiujitsu IMO.

Life and mental health

When you’re feeling anxious, frustrated, out of control, stressed……. Or even if everything is just “getting to you”.

Stop and breath.

Think about your breathing for ten breaths, or if you can, a minute

I guarantee it will help.

Other stuff

Here’s some links ;-)

NHS Breathing exercises for stress

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-activities/breathing-exercises-for-stress/

Yogic breathing and stress
https://www.yoga-als-therapie.de/assets/Studien/Downloads/Brown-2005a-j-compl-altern-med.pdf

Respiration & emotion https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02699930143000392?journalCode=pcem20

who, why and how

JP — Wed, 17 Aug 2022 09:30:37 GMT

Hello there, let’s explain what this is about…..

who

My name is JP.

I have a fairly boring lifestyle. That’s by design, and I’ll probably mention bits of it in future posts.

But I guess if I want you to read what I write, it’s only fair that you have some idea of what qualifications I have.

The answer when it comes to mental health is “none”. I do have a degree in Organisational Theory, which has some psychology/sociology aspects, and I recently completed a Post Graduate Diploma in Psychology (basically the first year of a Psychology degree).

I did that diploma because over the next five to ten years I want to make a positive contribution to peoples lives. That sounds very grandiose, but basically I think mental health is super important, and I’d like to help people with that.

The diploma covered the main theories and contributors to psychology, and the next steps for me will be to start a journey in order to qualify as a psychotherapist.

While I’m doing that I still want to make a positive contribution, and I’m hoping that this blog/newsletter will be a way that I can do it.

Something I do have a bit of experience with is grappling. I’ve been doing Brazilian Jiujitsu for about 12 years, and I generally love most sport. So to give these random writings some focus, a common reference point will be sport/exercise or generally being active.

why

I don’t know about you, but I find that sometimes it all gets a bit much (hence the image at the top of this post). I’m incredibly fortunate that it’s never been too much for me and I’m able to manage my mental health.

But for all of us, it’s been a bit crappy over the last few years.

IMO it’s been that way for a while. There’s a whole bunch of reasons why and I’m not going to rant about that. What I think is important is how we deal with things, and progress.

One of the few positives however is that there has been a lot more openness regarding mental health. From well being and mindfulness to positive conversations regarding neurodiversity and beyond.

I’ve mentioned what I want to do in the “who”, but I’ll elaborate a little more here to explain the why.

Yep it’s been a bit crap recently, and we’ve started to open up a bit more, but there’s a whole generation of young people who are growing up in this mess that mine and previous generations have left for them.

Just as we are recognising that mental health and well being are incredibly important, services that support young people in this area are under valued, under pressure and struggling more than before. Which is fucking shit.

I think we need to improve things not only for ourselves, but we have a responsibility to support others, especially younger people.

So let’s talk about how…

how

At the very least we can have positive conversations, and try to understand each other.

To help with that I’ll be writing about themes and insights, primarily from papers, podcasts, my own and other peoples experiences. The intention is to give some insight into things you can do to help yourself and other people.

It’s not much, but it’s something, and if we all do a little something positive, maybe we can make a difference.